Hi David

I'm finally divorced and have had my decree absolute for a few weeks now, thanks to your help.

I'm trying to sort my financials and be as amicable as possible, but my ex is now informing me via her solicitor that they are applying to the court for a stay of execution on the Absolute and have asked that I give them my consent to rescind it and if I don't give consent they will be seeking to recover their costs of the application from me?

I'm so very confused as to why they want to do this, I've asked both my ex and her solicitor for the reason for this, and neither will tell me.

Please help!!!

You should write to them (keeping a copy of the letter) saying that unless they give legally valid reasons for their request and an explanation of why they waited until decree absolute had been granted then in the event that they make an application you will be the one making an application for costs and you will be producing this letter before the court.

They cannot expect you to agree to this without giving you proper reasons and explaining why they did not act before decree absolute was granted.

Hi David,

thank you for your fast reply, I will write to them straight away and await their response.

I did mention to her solicitor via a letter that I would not apply for the absolute until we'd sorted out the financials, but then later decided not to wait but to go ahead with the application of which you kindly sorted for me.

then in the event that they make an application you will be the one making an application for costs
What costs should i be claiming for?

Regards Kevin



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/14/2022 05:37PM by My Future.

>>I did mention to her solicitor via a letter that I would not apply for the absolute until we'd sorted out the financials

Then you may have a problem. Clearly the reason your wife's solicitor did not take action before decree absolute was because you had told them that you would not do so until financial issues were resolved and if you told them by letter then there is clear evidence.

Having said that, whether they were in a position to prevent you applying for decree absolute if you had not voluntarily agreed not to do so depends very much upon circumstances. If, say, you have significant pension provision your ex wife will have suffered prejudice as a result of you applying for decree absolute before financial issues were resolved. While you were still married your wife would have benefited automatically from your pension in the event of your death. By applying for decree absolute before financial issues were resolved formally you will have deprived her of that benefit. Only you know whether there is such a pension but there commonly is and, if so, your ex wife's solicitors would have been able to prevent you applying from decree absolute. It seems the only reason they did not do this (if I am correct about a pension) is because you had told them that you would not apply for decree absolute until financial issues were resolved.

Hi David,

Just looking at the letter that was sent to her solicitor and the actual wording is that my solicitor stated that she advised me not to apply for the Absolute and not as I originally stated that I'd agreed to not applying for it.

My pension pot stands currently at lump sum of approximately £34k and a yearly pension of £13.5k (that is not including my state pension) I would not consider that as substantial?

Regards.

Unfortunately it is significant. By applying for decree absolute before financial issues were formally and finally resolved you have deprived your ex wife of benefiting from your pension in the event of your death prior to financial issues being settled. For this reason they could have prevented you from applying for decree absolute if they had realised you were going to apply for it before financial issues were settled.

Whether it is worth rescinding the decree absolute in order to restore this theoretical benefit is another matter (because I assume the chances of you dropping dead any time soon are probably small). It does sound, though, as though the outstanding financial issues need to be settled and so you do need to impress upon them that you wish to progress that. If you do not there is a risk that they will unilaterally apply for the decree absolute to be rescinded and if they were successful in that application they would probably seek costs from you. There is no certainty that they would be successful in an application to rescind or in an application for costs but it is a risk. To try to minimise that risk it would be sensible to give them the idea that you do want to get the financial issues arising from the marriage resolved.

Couldn't you just say you have met someone and don't want to enter into a new relationship like this?

Surely, any letter sent unless it was a formal undertaking, would be sent without prejudice?

Terry gives sound advice, plain and honest. I just wonder if in the long run you would be better off leaving well enough alone. .She only wants it rescinded because it gives her more financial rights.

But then...women win. 99.99999% of the time.