Q

My husband and I have been together 25 years with two children aged 17 and 15.
I earn £15k pa he earns £50k. There’s no mortgage on the property.

My husband pays all the bills, always has done- gas, electric,water, broadband and tv license. He also pays for his own private lock up for his classic cars. He used to buy the food shopping but stopped that in January when he started sleeping on the floor in the lounge. We thought he was depressed and needed time. He stopped talking to us all. There was no argument or build up to this.

At Easter, I had taken youngest out for birthday treat when he text me. It said ‘I’m seeing someone else thought you should know as we’ve been split for months’. I was devastated, shocked and hurt.

All bills are paid by husband who is still living in the house. He stays overnight elsewhere 2-3 night a week. He’s admitted an affair with the neighbour so I assume he goes there. We are in the process of a divorce because of his adultery. I have claimed Child Maintenance which has really angered him and he says he’s paying everything and it’s not fair. I received a letter saying I’m not the main carer to which I appealed and won. He admitted he spent two hours on the phone convincing them he’s the carer.
He demanded I pay half the bills. I got a bit scared and walked off without saying anything. Do I have to pay half the bills?

You are receiving child maintenance and you also have an income of your own. It is not reasonable that your husband should also be paying all the bills. That is what child maintenance is supposed to be for after all. That is not to say that you should necessarily be paying half. If, say, your income taking account child maintenance is, say, £25K and his net income after paying child maintenance is £40K then it would be reasonable for you to pay 25/65 or 5/13 and for him to pay 8/13 while he is still living there.

Thank you, I do appreciate your opinion as when you’re going through something difficult it’s hard to see rationally. I feel that he is only saying pay half the bills as I’ve stood up to him and this is his counter attack. He earns 4.5 times more than me so although there are unfair rising costs he is not struggling. It just seems daft to receive the child maintenance which is meant for uniform, food, activities and then give it back to him for him to spend down the pub or on his fancy woman.

No, child maintenance is to pay for everything to do with raising a child including contributing towards the utility bills in the home in which they live. It is not 'meant' solely for the purposes to which you say it should be applied. Also, he does not have an income 4.5 times yours. He earns whatever he does less the child maintenance he pays you and you earn whatever you earn plus the child maintenance he pays you. Also, you are getting divorced so what he spends his residual income on is his business just as how you spend your income no longer has anything to do with him. And life does go on after divorce.