Hi,
I'm divorcing my husband and I just don't know where to start with it all. I understand the divorce part is actually the easiest, its the financial side I'm struggling to get my head around. We own a property together, joint tenants, and both still live there. It is not amicable. I have a teenage daughter from a previous relationship and we have a 10 year old son together. I have moved in to his room.
Im 41, hes 36 - we bought our first house together from his dad and he kindly reduced the asking price by £12K. We extended downstairs but unfortunately my father in law then passed away and my husband invested some of his inheritance in to the property doing the upstairs. We made quite a bit from that sale and we have extended the property we are in now. With price rises at the moment there is a large profit.
My husband is adamant he should get, at least, the first £60K once its sold and then split the rest 50/50 (Looking to be about £180K profit altogether). This is to include the initial £12K his dad reduced the house by and the inheritance he used.
We have separate finances, never had joint, believe it or not I cant even tell you how much he earns, it can be anywhere between £25K - £32K a year, I earn just under £22K. Been together 13 years and married for almost 9. I have only been working full time since January, for the last 5 years I worked 30 hours a week due to school pick up. I also have a work pension (been paying in for 6 years) and he doesn't as he is self-employed. I would like to change my lump sum if anything happens to me to the children, is this something I can do?
I feel like I'm banging my head on a brick wall trying to 'negotiate' but he is not budging. He becomes angry like a child not getting his own way and it is sometimes not a nice environment to be in - he is not bothered that the kids are there and even bothers me whilst I'm outside so the neighbours can hear. He must have sent me 6/7 messages Monday morning alone trying to get me to agree but when i retaliate, he accuses me of being awkward and making everything difficult.
He has now booked a house valuation behind my back and asked me to book my own as he wants to deal with them himself. In no way, shape or form am i trying to be underhand and take everything, i just want whats fair for me and the kids. Im even happy for him to have slightly more than me money wise as long as my pension is secure. However, his new threat last night was that we haven't yet received the completion certificate for the extension (finished December 2020) and he can hold this off for as long as he wants therefore not having to sell the house.
Financially I cant afford a lot myself, he pays the mortgage and I pay all the bills as well as stuff for the kids. He keeps threatening solicitors and legal action for a decision to be made. I suffer with anxiety and it is going through the roof just not knowing what mood hes going to be in everyday. Where do i stand if i moved out of the property with the children in to a private rental?
Any advice would be appreciated, thank you.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2022 10:31AM by Oafy.