Re: Child Custody

Hi there,
I'm currently seperated from my ex since May 2019 and had been married since Jan 2019.
My wife arrived from Pakistan on a spouse visa. A lot of turmoil created for me and my daughter (5 years old now) to a point where my daughter just didn't want to

See her mother again. After months of efforts, daughter is beginning to see her Mom again, though with a loss of confidence at times due to the fear that she has to go to her mother's house. I spoke extensively to an Asian Family Counselling service who drafted an agreement as set below.

Child will remain at John's parent’s house (where she is at the moment).
John to help Mary to reconcile with the child with the support of his family.
Mary can see the child whenever she wants with prior notice and mutual understanding.
After the reconciliation with the child, there is no restriction on where the child lives. If at any time Mary feels that the child is unhappy to live with her, then it will be her moral, social and parental responsibility to return the child to the father and equally the reverse also applies.
John and Mary are financially independent of each other. It is agreed that they have no claim on each other’s savings, investments, property, and pensions or ask for maintenance from the other. He will share the expenses for the child with Mary. He will also provide for Mary in an emergency situation.
Both sides of the family undertake not to poison the child’s mind against the other.
Everything regarding the child to be discussed and mutually agreed by both parties, the welfare of the child being of paramount importance.
Mary is allowed to take the child on European holidays only, to go to Pakistan she will need the father, John’s consent.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/26/2019 10:37PM by commonsenseman.

My issue here is, what if mother suddenly changes her mind and wants the child (she has left child with me since May 2019 without me knowing her address for a while) which will destroy the little ones confidence ?
Also if I gain complete custody (as little one has been living with me and my parents since May 2019) then does

That mean I still pay the ex half of my income to her, despite looking after her since May 2019, in fact since her birth ?

I think your wife should seek independent legal advice from a lawyer who is genuinely independent. This arrangement does not look to me to be in the best interests of the child. There are serious issues here not the least of which is why a five year old child has apparently taken against her mother.

I am also very doubtful whether the mother has been properly advised of her rights upon divorce in English law. She would be well advised to seek independent advice about that.