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Confused and Scared

Posted by curiouslyscared 
Confused and Scared
July 31, 2021 02:00PM
Hi,
Not sure why I am doing this but this is now in my head and I want to know my options.

I have been divorced previously and financially settled 35% to me and 65% to her. It was very expensive. Anyways I am over it.

I have now found another partner. Met her online, she lives abroad, I went and got married to her and I am in the process of applying for her spouse visa. A friend suggested I should get a Post-Nuptial agreement before she comes here. (how un-romantic but maybe sensible)
I want this marriage to last forever and I have no doubt that nothing is financially motivated. But in life things can go wrong. I own a house, she doesn't plan to work, and I'll be the sole bread earner.
I spoke to a solicitor and they guided me that to do a proper Post-Nuptial, she will need to have an independent lawyer who will tell her of all her rights and will tell her that from day one she is entitled to everything I have 50/50 from the first day she lives with me. That scares me. It's like seeding something into her mind. Plus this is very costly as I would be the one paying for both sides.
The other option I thought of was that her first Visa is going to be valid for 33 months and an extension needs to be applied. Now if the relationship goes downhill in the marriage I was thinking of not applying for her extension and then when her visa expires, go on a holiday in her country, and then she will not be able to return. Does anyone see a problem with that? Again I hope nothing goes wrong but I am confused about what approach to take. Do nothing, or do a post-Nuptial or do the visa expiry way 
Please do not judge
Re: Confused and Scared
July 31, 2021 05:46PM
Neither a post nuptial agreement or the visa wheeze will work. Courts are not bound by post nuptial agreements. If a marriage breaks down in weeks or months and you separate then may be but the longer the marriage lasts the less weight will be attached a post nuptial agreement. My guess is that the marriage will last as long as it takes for her to get indefinite leave to remain which suggests the marriage will last about three years for that reason alone. The visa wheeze won't work because I think you will find that if you are wrong about the motivation for marrying you and the real reason is to get into the country then such people are very well informed about what the effects of, say, alleging domestic violence are.

You are now married. If you really want out of this because you fear the financial consequences or the real motivation for the marriage then the safest option would be not to facilitate her entry into the country, not to live together and to seek a divorce just as soon as you are able to do so. If you did that her financial claims would be minimal because she would never become dependent upon you.

By the way, you do not say of which country your wife is a national and in which country she lives. If, say, she was French and living in France you might reasonably assume Cupid has brought you together. However, if your wife is a national of certain other countries and lives in one of them warning lights may begin to flash because in some countries marriage to a UK citizen is sometimes a route into the country and Cupid has very little to do with it.
Re: Confused and Scared
August 01, 2021 09:38AM
“I have now found another partner. Met her online, she lives abroad, I went and got married to her and I am in the process of applying for her spouse visa.”

When I read that the alarm bells started tinkling

“I own a house, she doesn't plan to work, and I'll be the sole bread earner.”

And when I read they they started clanging.
Re: Confused and Scared
August 01, 2021 11:49AM
Dear Sir, I really appreciate you taking time out and responding. Very useful information you have given me and I can think further on this.

Am I correctly understanding that the weight of post-nuptial is only strong if it is a short-term marriage? Like if we were to divorce after 5 years the court won't really consider it and go the route as a normal divorce would be. If yes then I do not see the point of spending thousands in getting a post-nuptial done.

To add more to my situation

My wife is from Pakistan. She has never asked me any question about finances, she doesn't know how much I earn, She was just happy in marriage. She never asked me if I own a house etc.

I am a high earner, I own a house that has equity of £600k, I have savings of £300k. I have two sons from my previous marriage.

I honestly do not believe there are any wrong motivations but I still wanted to protect myself if possible. If I cannot protect myself with a post-nuptial then I do not want to go ahead and pay lots of money to get one done and muddy the waters if it really in its true sense won't be effective.
Re: Confused and Scared
August 01, 2021 11:49AM
Andyk Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> “I have now found another partner. Met her online,
> she lives abroad, I went and got married to her
> and I am in the process of applying for her spouse
> visa.”
>
> When I read that the alarm bells started tinkling
>
> “I own a house, she doesn't plan to work, and I'll
> be the sole bread earner.”
>
> And when I read they they started clanging.

I know right, sounds terrible!
Re: Confused and Scared
August 01, 2021 02:24PM
If you have assets of £900K then it is absolute cloud cuckoo land to think that you could protect that with a post nuptial agreement.

'We agree that husband has assets of £900K but in the event of divorce I agree to make no claim upon those assets'.

Do you seriously think that a court would think itself bound for a moment by an agreement like that? Although the answer should be obvious I can tell you for a fact that the answer would be, no, it wouldn't.

And, by the way, should you drop dead and make no financial provision for your wife in your will she could, and any lawyer would tell her that she should, contest such a will.
Re: Confused and Scared
August 02, 2021 02:34PM
Thank you again and very useful the info you have provided.

So as I had suspected the Post-Nuptial is useless and I should save my money and not do it. It seems it can only protect me for few months but not long term.
Again I hope nothing goes wrong and we live together forever.

Thank you very much David
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