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Can She or Cant she

Posted by Sleepy hollow 
Can She or Cant she
July 14, 2020 03:57PM
Hi David.

Prior to my retirement in 2017 my ex and myself signed a financial remedy order whereby my military pension was shared and also child maintenance was agreed in line with my income which is a state pension and 50% military pension in total 1000 gbp per month.

A week ago I asked my ex regarding the payments for our eldest daughter who was born in November 1998. I never received a reply only a threat that if I stop her money my ex will contact the pensions office and get it increased in line with what the Government and gingerbread say I should be paying.

My Court Order states the following:attaining the age of 18 or ceasing full time secondary education which ever shall be the later OR by another Court Order.

Is she not required by the Court Order to inform me and can she just contact the pensions office and get it increased? I thought a court order can only be changed by another court order. Also as she already has 50% of my Military pension the income can only be based on my state pension of around 490 a month. Since 2017 i have remarried and adopted a teenage of 16 years.

What I pay is a very small amount and will continue to pay it. Its just the principle and her threats that annoy me.

Many thanks for your time.
Re: Can She or Cant she
July 14, 2020 05:37PM
The child you refer to seems to have been born in 1998 so she is 22 or thereabouts. Therefore no longer a child and definitely no longer in secondary education. You should stop the payments immediately. Your ex wife can contact whoever she likes. Unless and until there is another court order these payments should cease. If your ex wife thinks they should continue it is for her to say why and provide evidence. Obviously she is very content that you should make these payments voluntarily and for as long as you do there will be no objection by your ex wife even when your eldest child is middle aged.

There are circumstances under which maintenance payments for a child can continue into adulthood but those circumstances are exceptional such as the child suffering from a disability. Even in such a case a variation in your existing court order would need to be sought from a court because the order clearly does not contemplate such circumstances (tending to suggest that they do not exist otherwise they would have been mentioned in the original order).
Re: Can She or Cant she
July 15, 2020 04:32AM
Hi David,
Many thanks for a quick response. As a guide line for my other children, if I stopped their maintenance when they reach the age of 20 that should be sufficient time to end secondary education. My ex will not tell me anything and as the amount is small I can wait until they are 20 so I don’t get any come backs from her.
Once again Thankyou for your time.
Re: Can She or Cant she
July 15, 2020 11:41AM
I don't think any children are still in secondary education at the age of 20. You can safely stop paying when they reach their 19th birthday. I should perhaps say that if any of the children go on from secondary education to tertiary education it would not be uncommon for child maintenance to continue until the end of any first degree or 21 years of age whichever is the later. Given the wording of your court order that extension would require either your consent or a formal variation of the existing order.
Re: Can She or Cant she
August 02, 2020 10:23AM
Hi David,
One daughter is 22 and a nurse and the other daughter is 19.5 (Born May 2001)and half way through college. Can I just stop payment or do I need to inform the court first. I get no answers from my ex but I assume I need to let her know out of respect.

Many thanks
Re: Can She or Cant she
August 02, 2020 11:58AM
Your eldest daughter is an adult and a nurse so presumably she has an income from that employment. There is absolutely no reason whatever why you should be continuing to pay her. Out of courtesy you may decide you want to tell her in advance that X payment will be that last but that is a matter for you really rather than any legal obligation.

If your younger daughter is still in full time education and still living with her mother it would be quite common to continue to maintain her until she finishes her course and to make the payments to her mother if she is continuing to live with her. If she is not living with her mother then the payments should be made direct to your daughter. I did say, 'quite common', though because it is not necessarily the case that you could be compelled to support her. That would depend upon things like whether her course is normally funded by a loan etc.
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