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Agreed Child Contact except for unrealistic holiday demands

Posted by trojan10_om 
Agreed Child Contact except for unrealistic holiday demands
July 03, 2020 10:12AM
Unusual one here. Most people disagree of contact arrangements because the non resident wants more contact then the resident is prepared to concede, it's kind of the opposite here.

We have agreed a fairly typical contact pattern. I asked for alternative weekends, and a Wednesday night stay every week. However she is insisting that she will only sign the agreement if I also commit to a fixed holiday contact pattern which results in me having contact an extra 4 or 5 full weeks a year.

The trouble is, it's not practical for me to commit to that mainly because of getting the annual leave from work. I would ideally like around 10-15 additional days in a year during the holidays by agreement. She is a teacher so it's better the children are with her for the majority of the holidays as she will not need to use holiday clubs or childcare options.

If she stands her ground and refuses to go with the term time pattern that we've agreed (in writing), I guess my only option is court? Obviously the courts have no power to impose extra holiday contact on me, so where would that leave the term time 'agreement' we made. Could the courts take one look at our agreement and make an order? Even at best case scenario it's going to take months and £250 in court fees? Whats the worst case and most likely scenario?

Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 07/03/2020 10:16AM by trojan10_om.
Re: Agreed Child Contact except for unrealistic holiday demands
July 04, 2020 11:41AM
Court orders for children don't work. If people don't follow them eventually one or other parent tires of the considerable hassle and expense of going back to court repetitively. Courts orders in this context are very much a last resort.

In fact a written agreement between you is about as much use as a chocolate teapot too. What would either of you do if the agreement was breached? In practice it is best to be flexible and pragmatic about children. If you can't take the children for an extra 4 or 5 weeks a year because of work commitments then you can't do it and it's as simple as that.

It is true that your ex might well respond by saying that she won't abide by the other parts of the agreement and indeed that might happen in the short term. However, in the longer term that would obviously be cutting off her nose to spite her face. It does actually look as though she wants to offload the children so in the longer term it is likely that she will settle for what you can actually offer.

Incidentally, you and your your wife are getting divorced rather than getting married. The days when one could tell the other what to do are over.
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