Unsure on next steps - Divorce

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/06/2020 08:28AM by stuckinarock121.

>>partner is claiming I/my family owe half for wedding costs etc.

That is not how divorce law works in the UK. Tell her she has no such claim. Period.

You should, of course, issue a divorce petition as soon as possible if the marriage is over. Putting it off would be a mistake and irrelevant to the issue of whether your wife thinks she has a claim against you for wedding costs.

Many thanks for you response David. Yes, I do need to get the ball rolling.

Would I be better off going straight to solicitors or to a mediation (to discuss the amount I wish to give, or can solicitors deal with this too?)

Does my case sound like a relatively straightforward process?

Thanks again

You cannot settle the financial issues arising from the marriage formally and finally until there is at least decree nisi in a divorce. The courts do not have jurisdiction to approve any settlement (whether agreed or not) until that point. Therefore issuing a divorce petition comes first. You will just go round and round in circles until you get a divorce on track. It is a divorce which enables you to finalise everything and to progress the financial issues whether your wife wants to or not.

The issue of a divorce petition tends to concentrate minds so you may be able to reach agreement between yourselves at some point after a divorce petition has been issued. It is usually worth waiting to see before trying to force the financial issues.

Mediation only works if both parties want it to work. If you both enter into it in good faith then there is no reason why you shouldn't try it. However, it is worth doing that with your eyes open. If your wife's position is that she wants the shirt off your back and then some this will become obvious quite early on. There is no point in continuing mediation for months if that happens. It would just be a waste of time and money.

Basically at this stage you need to issue a divorce petition and then wait a little while to see whether that has pushed resolving the financial issues any further forward.

Thanks David, I think I am understanding this process a bit more.

Quote

You cannot settle the financial issues arising from the marriage formally and finally until there is at least decree nisi in a divorce. The courts do not have jurisdiction to approve any settlement (whether agreed or not) until that point. Therefore issuing a divorce petition comes first. You will just go round and round in circles until you get a divorce on track. It is a divorce which enables you to finalise everything and to progress the financial issues whether your wife wants to or not.

My question to this would be, would this have to be done via the solicitor / court route regarding my payment? I could not pay a penny to the other party and still go ahead with the divorce, but I'm not a bad person and in these circumstances I am willing to obviously contribute towards the other party's incurred costs in the past. So would this not be possible in a mediation route?

I did read online (not sure how credible) that if divorce cases go all the way to court, it could be very costly (i'm sure I read a figure of 10/12 grand!)

>>My question to this would be, would this have to be done via the solicitor / court route regarding my payment?

You should not pay any significant sum of money except within the context of a court order settling the financial issues arising from the marriage. If you ignore this advice you risk your ex simply pocketing the money and then coming after you for more. You need a court order to make it all final.

Getting a court order is not the same as meaning that you need to argue everything before a judge. Terms of settlement can be submitted to a court for approval without anyone ever need attend court. However, you will almost certainly need the help of a solicitor to turn any terms of settlement into the form of a court order. There is a world of difference between, say, you going to a solicitor and saying, 'This is what I and my wife have agreed. Can you please draw the agreement up formally and submit it to the court for approval' and saying, 'Can you please help me resolve the financial issues between me and my wife'. Indeed, if you were in a position to say, for example, 'This is what my wife and I have agreed at mediation. Please can you draw it up formally so that it becomes legally binding', that also would be cheaper than simply dumping unresolved issues on the desk of your solicitor. The most expensive cases are those which need to be fought out before a judge. Sometimes there can be sound reasons for doing that but you should not assume that is the only thing that solicitors do.