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Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?

Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 13, 2019 02:18PM
So my wife threw me out the house, telling me She has feelings for someone else she does not love me does not want me and to get out of the house were done it's over, that was 20 mins after a bit of intimacy. I then subsequently found out she had carried on a relationship with the person she has feelings for on the afternoon I left, and then she pursued a line of harassment against me, and so did he and his mum. All have had police warnings, My ex is now on her final warning before being charged.

I have not named him in the Divorce Petition, although I know him and his address, for ease of divorce proceedings.

My ex is hung up on a one night stand I had in 2015 where she forgave me and I carried on living at home as normal, but is adamant it is relevant to our divorce, as "its my fault she had an affair-if I had not had a one night stand".

I have put adultery and unreasonable behaviour as the reason for divorce.

The petition went in in May, they sent her the Petition and response, she filled it in wrong, it got sent back to her 11th June and has since not responded to the courts request to amend her response.

Called the courts yesterday after 2 hour wait on hold to be told, she has all the time in the world to correct her mistake, I can apply for deemed service hearing, i said well surely if she sent the response back to you, that's acknowledgement of service, according to this phone handler lady no its not acknowledgement of service if she filled it in wrong and it got sent back for correcting, i said its proof she has had it because she sent it back to you! NOPE she said. you would have to make an application for a deemed service hearing D11 application.

No I do have her on Dashcam saying "what do you do with this divorce thing?"
and after yesterdays conversation, i have on WhatsApp messenger her saying she did receive it, and sent it back, i asked if she was absolutely positive, and she said yes again, and then i said well i had a letter off court saying they sent it back to you in june and you failed to respond, and she said "ill fill it in and sent it back today". I have no faith she will.

What is my next step in the saga, i have updated the court with instances of unreasonable behaviour with police log numbers etc since the petition went in.

What is the next step? deemed service hearing with an D11 or File for Decree Nisi with the evidence of to prove service?
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 13, 2019 06:56PM
You have my sympathies. I have faced this nonsense myself and it is idiotic. You are absolutely correct. The fact that she has signed and returned the acknowledgement of service is proof of service. And it is not 'deemed' service either. It is actual service.

The idiots who staff these so called 'divorce units' do not understand this. The problem is that it is a waste of time arguing with them because they take SO long to deal with any correspondence. On average it now takes an astonishing 56 weeks from issuing a divorce petition to decree absolute and this is largely down to the inefficiency of these so called 'divorce units'. There was a time when the process could be completed in 10 weeks if you were lucky (and efficient). Those days are long gone.

Unfortunately, much as it sticks in my throat to do it, I have discovered that it is quicker to comply with their idiotic demands rather than argue about it (which simply adds to the delay and rarely gets you anywhere). Make the application for deemed service and exhibit her response as the evidence upon which you rely.
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 13, 2019 07:28PM
Thank you for your reply and expertise.

I was just thinking and im going to throw this out to you see if you agree, She hasn't responded in the 14-29day period, if the court is of the opinion it is not served. I have listed inappropriate behavior as a reason to divorce. Could I not Apply for Decree Nisi and Use a D84 and a d80 statment for to bolster it up with the evidence it is served explain to them its past due, she did respond but did so incorrectly and has now gone silent plus 29 days to respond has lapsed plus the evidence of bad behavior with the police log numbers. Would this be worth a work around to paying the £50.00 fee as im in receipt of contribution based DWP welfare payments this is just over half of my weekly payment. If I have to I will select a hearing a without her presence on a D11 and pay the fee for a deemed served judgement.
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 14, 2019 12:26PM
The court has told you that you need to make an application for deemed service before you can proceed. The jobsworth who told you this is wrong but you will be wasting a lot of time and banging your head against a brick wall if you do not make the application for deemed service and proceed in some other way.
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 14, 2019 02:44PM
Ok then I will proceed with what the call handler has said, make the application notice D11.

When making the application, it asks in part 3. What order are you making and why?, Do I stipulate: I wish to apply the to court without notice for the district judge to consider whether the petition is deemed to have been served in accordance with family procedure rules 2010.
The reason for this application is that the respondent has responded to the divorce petition, returned it signed to the court, made it erroneous and court sent back for completion therefor good evidence it has actually been served, also see WhatsApp text message admitting to receiving and sending it back by the respondent in WhatsApp communication


Where it says attach draft copy of the order you are applying for, I assume they mean attach a copy of this completed order?

There's obviously no reason why a judge could not complete the order in clerical (on paper)?

No to a telephone hearing as we both cant afford solicitor.

Leave the rest blank (how long is hearing, fixed hearing date, specific judge to handle the case etc)

part 9. Who should be served with the application, Should I put, Order to be made without notice, due to unreasonable behaviour? or include the ex's address and postcode telephone number?

and part 10 is obviously then asking for what information will you be relying on?, is the evidence set out in the box below, Provide the copy of her formal warning from police as evidence of unreasonable behaviour of harassment, and then provide the print out of her acknowledging she received the Divorce petition.

Hope I got this right, as I don't want mess this up.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/14/2019 02:45PM by DarkerVersionOfKITT.
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 14, 2019 05:04PM
I am sorry but I cannot reasonably be expected to guide you through the details of individual court applications. My insurer would not thank me for that. A local Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help you with that sort of detail.
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 14, 2019 06:20PM
it's ok I understand, ill fill it out how I interpret it and send it back, the worse that can happen its rejected.
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 17, 2019 09:07PM
Sorry for the questions, I was speaking with someone today who is paying for and guiding his own divorce like I am currently, He said that once my Decree Absolute is finalised, Apply to the court right away to finalise any finances, because and what he said was. he came into to a substantial amount of inheritance not long after the divorce, and his ex came sniffing but couldn't have any, is this right?
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 18, 2019 12:12AM
My understanding is inheritance will be treated like other things in so much as its needs based.

In my divorce a small inheritance from my father, which came around 4 months prior to separation, was ring fenced (or rather at FDR the judge guided us to the fact that, were he hearing the case at final hearing, he would ring fence the money) on the basis that; it came so late in the marriage, was never combined with my exes money, none of it was ever used to purchase anything for the home or for the two of us and finally that there was enough capital and we both earned enough to house is both without it.

I'm sure David will correct me if I'm wrong but those are the types of things it seems matter when looking at this. Also if he inherited after the absolute; it will likely matter if he already had a consent order of any description
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 18, 2019 10:12AM
Thanks that makes sense, as he said he wasn't sure if it was a consent order or financial settlement order (I got confused buy the latter as its not something ive heard of being spoken about in a divorce setting before), but it sounds like a consent order was granted as he said there isn't much she claim as hers now it was applied for and granted post NISI (forgive the above wrong info as I clarify the conversation in my mind) and pre inheritance.

Basically a "Clean Break".

Will have to look into it a bit further.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2019 10:18AM by DarkerVersionOfKITT.
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 18, 2019 11:44AM
If the financial issues arising from the marriage were settled formally and finally by way of a court order (which can be by agreement) then any inheritance received thereafter is irrelevant. If an inheritance is received before financial issues are formally and finally settled then the relevance of that inheritance very much depends upon the details of individual circumstances.

You may want to look at this case to understand why settling the financial issues formally is normally wise.

[terry.uk]
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 25, 2019 09:19PM
after my application notice to have the "deemed served" element sorted, which thankfully the district judge put in his order "proceed without notice-Undefended" I had a 2 statement of truths in to fill out Unreasonable behaviour/adultery and had to send copies of the evidence, and anything else I was to rely on for NISI application I had to update the unreasonable part as so much has gone on since the petition.

hopefully now in soon ill get that as I wasn't expecting my application notice to be processed for another 2 weeks yet let alone have been in front of a judge and dealt with already hopefully now ill be able to slip in the financial order to finalise that and be the end of things by October/November.
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 26, 2019 10:48AM
>>hopefully now ill be able to slip in the financial order to finalise that and be the end of things by October/November.

You can only do it within that sort of time scale if you are both agreed and your spouse co-operates in signing and completing the necessary paperwork. If she does not agree and/or co-operate it will take a lot longer than that.
Re: Is there ever a straight forward Divorce?
July 26, 2019 04:55PM
David Terry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> >>hopefully now ill be able to slip in the
> financial order to finalise that and be the end of
> things by October/November.
>
> You can only do it within that sort of time scale
> if you are both agreed and your spouse co-operates
> in signing and completing the necessary paperwork.
> If she does not agree and/or co-operate it will
> take a lot longer than that.

shes a shopaholic addicted to buying lotto cards. if I tell her that I get half of all winnings she'll sign it quicker than lindford Christy can run. that's a bit of wishful thinking. But I will put it to her along the lines of there is nothing of yours and nothing of mine we share, so no need to leave a loose end, and see what she says, No probably but don't ask don't get.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/26/2019 05:44PM by DarkerVersionOfKITT.
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