Divorce proposed by my wife

Hi folks,

Looking for some guidance, I’ve been married for 12 years and have 2 daughters together.

In effect we have been living apart for 2.5 years already as I work and live abroad and she takes care of the kids in the UK and claims universal credit whilst doing so. I have continued to contribute and buy everything they need and pay the Rent and bills as needed. We didn’t intend to drift apart and we were meant to reunite as a family this summer but things have changed for my wife and she’s decided she wants out. Am not sure if it’s a temporary thing, as she’s recently changed meds for depression about 3 times in the last few months, but we are where we are.

I have a a few questions as the situation is complex.

When we met I owned a house and always paid the mortgage by myself until we sold in 2015 for 225k of which say 120k was equity. We then bought a house for 255k and sold it for 275k in 2020 again I always paid the mortgage and bills. On the house we bought in 2015 my wife stopped working so relied solely on my income and any savings she has.

Current status is:
Wife $0 savings and on UC
Me £200k a year job in a different country, with 100k in liquid savings and another 150k in pensions and other savings accounts that would be penalized if touched.
I have 100k savings in the UK of which 60k was a loan that can be recalled by parents if there was any separation in marriage.
I have always paid maintenance and confident we could agree something on that front, but from a legal perspective what is she entitled to?

And what do I need to think about and look out for?

The UK govt and HMRC have treated us as seperated as we live in different countries and I’m a resident of a diff country too.

It’s awfully painful, but I want to make sure the funds aren’t spend or wasted. I’d sooner out into a kids S ai v trust. My wife has also signed docs to uk govt to say she has no savings to claim UC.

Appreciate any thoughts/guidance.

I have deleted this post. The opinions of this poster on the matter are self interested and tiresome in their repetition.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/18/2023 02:50PM by David Terry.

You should read this post [terry.uk] looks like you and Itsasmallworldafterall might have something in common.

I believe the simple advice to try to divorce in the other jurisdiction is more than fair

>>I believe the simple advice to try to divorce in the other jurisdiction is more than fair

Except

(1) You do not know what that other jurisdiction is. It could be North Korea for all we know.

(2) In any event it matters not a jot because wife and children live in the UK so (a) they would win the forum argument based on forum conveniens and (b) the English courts would have jurisdiction no matter what any foreign court decided.

North Korea most likely has a fairer outcome for OP.

If there isn't that much money involved I imagine it might work that the wife just lets the other jurisdiction handle the case. Perhaps she doesn't know about how different the outcomes might be. I imagine that not everyone is smart about this stuff.

I think you will find that wives in general are better informed about divorce than husbands. That is because wives tend to discuss this type of thing with friends and family, they read articles about it in magazines etc. Divorce - and the likely financial outcome - tends to come as more of a surprise to men because they tend not to discuss these topics etc.

I very much doubt that anything is fair in North Korea (or in rather a large number of other countries).

Yes I imagine that re the information.
Another really striking thing is the lack of information that is provided to people entering marriage in England the enormous consequences on their hard earned wealth. There is no contract that is more binding but there is also no other contract where you get so little information provided to you before you sign. A session with a family lawyer describing the law should be mandatory. I doubt there would be many marriages in cases where there is a very uneven financial starting point. Most people assume that the law works differently than it actually does in England.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/20/2023 12:19PM by Randomer4040.

I think you will find that most people in England have a pretty good idea of how divorce law here works.

The people who do not tend to be those from countries or cultures where things are decided differently.

As to information pre-marriage, well, it is much like any important transaction. It is the responsibility of those entering into significant transactions to inform themselves as to the implications before they enter into them.

What you seem to be saying though is, 'There is no official warning to tell me that if I get divorced in England my wife and children may well have a call upon my assets in the event of divorce even though I owned such assets before marriage'. It may surprise you but not many people enter marriage with your type of attitude which seems to be, 'What is mine is mine and I intend to keep it come what may'. Such people tend not to get married in the first place for rather obvious reasons.

With most important transactions you are warned. There is a legal requirement to warn you. If you do spreadbetting it says most people lose.

With marriage as a wealthy man there is no warning and the loss potential in England is insane. There is probably no easier way to lose more than half your net worth. Just a move to England can cost you half your net worth or more.

And I don't think that many people are happy with losing their premarital assets. Most people don't have any or are similar to their partner. Also in my experience with intelligent people in London is that most people don't fully know the law.

They seem to think that the sensible rule of 5050 of post marriage asset only applies.

>>They seem to think that the sensible rule of 5050 of post marriage asset only applies.<<

No. YOU think that. In my experience most people think assets should be divided equally. Of course, the actual position is much more nuanced than that but people can't be expected to know the details without seeking advice. In practice there are many reasons why it may be appropriate to divide assets unequally in any given case.

Your problem is that you don't seem to be able to get your head around the notion that English divorce law puts fairness above the rigid application of rules.

And, really, the notion that there should be some sort of mandatory warning for wealthy men of the consequences of marriage and subsequent divorce is laughable. It is not the state's business to protect your wealth. It is yours.

For the record, I have deleted the last post by Randomer4040. I really can't see the point of a person endlessly repeating the same thing. I don't think it adds anything for anyone.

This forum is about English divorce law. It is not about what a foreign national living in the UK thinks about one aspect of English divorce law - which is basically that he should be allowed to keep what he says is 'his' in divorce.