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Help and advice

Posted by tango59 
Help and advice
April 22, 2022 06:10PM
Been married 37 years...been going through the motions for at least 10.My husband is 18 years older than me...I don't love him one little bit and basically only stayed with him because I don't want to lose my home which was mine before married and is in my name.Anyway your all going to call me heartless or callous but here goes...I believe he has some form of dementia which he refuses to address and I want him out....he hasn't worked for years,does nothing around the house I do everything,all paperwork,bills insurances everything.I work part time,provide childcare for my grandkids,do all the cleaning,cooking,decorating,gardening etc
I'm basically running myself into the ground while he spends his days in the pub or in front of the tv.Hes not the person I married and I dont even like him anymore.I've discussed divorce but hes not having it,refuses to move out,refuses medical help.I have worked all hours on the frontline since the start of covid and have been lucky to escape contracting it however tested positive a week ago and so did he.This last week self isolating with someone I dislike immensely has pushed me to bite the bullet and seek advice.The thought of having to spend the rest of my life in the same house as him,possibly having to care for him fills me with dread and is quite frankly making me ill.
What if anything can I do
Re: Help and advice
April 22, 2022 07:20PM
Well, you can seek a divorce if that is what you want. No-one can compel you to remain married to your husband if that is not what you want. There is no doubt about that. You do not have to continue this relationship.

Having said that, this is by any reckoning a long marriage so whether you owned the house before you got married is irrelevant. It has been the matrimonial home for far too long for it simply to be regarded as yours. I mention this because when you separate and the divorce is finalised you will each need somewhere to live and your housing needs are probably equal. That is your housing needs do not take priority over those of your husband so basically you will have to work out where you are each going to live and how it will be paid for. That may involve selling the home and probably will.
Re: Help and advice
April 22, 2022 07:43PM
Yes Im aware that I wont be able to keep the house and it will have to be sold my issue is he is refusing to go forward with divorce proceedings and because of his undiagnosed dementia Im not sure if i will be able to go ahead as if hes not of sound mind then he wont be able to get his own legal representation
Re: Help and advice
April 23, 2022 11:38AM
You do not need your husband's permission to have a divorce. Getting married requires agreement. Divorce does not. And it makes no difference whether he can get his own legal representation or not. That will no longer be your problem but his.
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