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Divorce after 7 years

Posted by Lewis72! 
Divorce after 7 years
November 12, 2021 06:42PM
I am a 58 year old male.
I was married for 26 years and separated 7 years ago due to differences.
My wife has lived in our 4 bed marital home for 7 years, the mortgage is on myself, she doesn't work and I have paid for the mortgage and bills while living in a one bed flat. I am also registered disabled.
The reasons behind not divorcing sooner and supporting her are private and hindsight is a wonderful thing however I'm pushing the button now ..
I started proceedings with a solicitor in January with a good offer, solicitor has all financial info. She is dragging it out because I guess she can stay there for free and disputing the offer on the grounds of she thinks I have more money etc.... I don't want to stop paying the mortgage as it will black list me.
So my solicitor has put in a final offer or we go to court.
I am absolutely drained - my solicitor advised that if it goes to court I'd have to pay upto £30k fees - she'd pay nothing as she hasn't applied for it. So I feel that this is a losing streak - I'll still pay for her to stay there, she doesn't accept letters so it drags on and on - court will take a long time and costly.

Is there any hope for me or advice to get this settled as the strain on my mental health is so great and I'm worried about the costs I'll have to pay as she's not moving things along or accepting offers.

Re: Divorce after 7 years
November 13, 2021 04:58PM
>>my solicitor advised that if it goes to court I'd have to pay upto £30k fees

Get another solicitor. It should not cost as much as that. If it went as far as a final hearing it would be sensible to use a barrister and that should cost say about £3,000 or so. The other costs are very much within your control. By making sure you are not using a very high charging solicitor and not communicating with your solicitor 10 times a day you should be able to keep total costs, including the barrister, to under £10,000.

You are right. Your wife has absolutely no incentive to do anything under these circumstances. You have to take action to get it resolved which will not happen unless you make a court application. Only a minority of cases actually need to be decided by a judge. Most do settle before reaching that stage (often after a judge has given a without prejudice opinion at what is called a Financial Dispute Resolution appointment).

You will not have to pay your wife's costs. They will fall on her (which is another incentive which helps cases settle). Compared to what you stand to gain weighed against the costs of doing nothing the costs you will incur in making a court application in order to get this resolved will in due course be money well spent. If you cannot reach agreement with your wife and she does not respond to anything else you really have very little choice.
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