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Financial Agreement issues

Posted by MissAmicable 
Financial Agreement issues
May 07, 2021 11:59PM
Hello, please may you advice on my issue.

Married for 13, cohabitation 8 years. Two children 5 & 7. I live with children 7 days. Work part time, Salary 1.200 monthly. I am 40 years old have no savings, £3500 debt. Renting

Ex works full time currently abroad, £10000 monthly salary. 42 years old. No debt £80 000 in savings (post separation)

We do not have FMH.

We cannot agree on financial settlement :
We have agreed not share pensions as they are +/- equal. £50000 each at present
He offered me £20 000 lump sum, £1 100 child maintenance, no spousal maintenance

His argument is his savings are post separation. There is a large salary discrepancy. I am resident parent and struggling with work/home balance.

Mediator has advised this is not a fair split considering the above situation and would be a waste of time/money to send to court as possibility will be rejected. Asked us to negotiate. If still in agreement then go to court.

Would the judges accept this at consent order? His rational is it’s his money obtained post separation. He says I should contact him if I need help at any time! This is not practical and surely not a clean break. He claims my ask of £30k is greed and self entitlement issues.

Should I accept his offer? I feel intimidated and pressured by him that it’s causing ill health.
Is it worth going to court?

Thanks in advance for your advice.
Re: Financial Agreement issues
May 08, 2021 10:50AM
If you are living in rented accommodation, have the care of two young children and debt rather than savings I think your husband will struggle to ring fence 'his' savings. They may have been acquired post separation but assets acquired post separation will only be ignored if the reasonable needs of both parties and any dependent children can be met without recourse to those assets. That is clearly not the case here because, apart from the pensions, your husband's savings are the only significant asset. Bearing in mind the ages of the children and the big differential in your earnings I would say this is a probably a spousal maintenance case and that spousal maintenance should last until the children cease to become dependent and/or you die or remarry. If your husband wants a clean break he can reasonably be expected to pay for it and the obvious source of any lump sum is from his savings. After all, if he gets a clean break and continues his current level of earnings he will soon be able to replenish his savings. I do not think his proposal is fair and I very much doubt that a court would think so either.
Re: Financial Agreement issues
May 08, 2021 11:23AM
Thank you So much for your prompt response. I appreciate it.

Below is a copy of my ex’s defence to support his reasoning behind his proposal :

“As far as the spousal maintenance is concerned below are my legal and ethical reasons for inclusion/consideration.
She is the reason for the divorce and was at fault.
Her income is sufficient to support her at the level to which she were accustomed during the marriage (not taking into the child maintenance)
She is fit to work and has the capacity and support to do full hours a week
Cost of living in the middle east is high and relative to the amounts earned, it would be negligent to assume that i have low overheads and excessive disposable capacity
I have dependents that i am putting through education and (now) tertiary education”

He is not budging, no room for negotiation. I feel bullied as he repeatedly says I’m greedy and selfish to use the kids as a basis to request more from his pot of savings. His savings of £80k are accumulated from 1 year (!) I believe he has been transparent in the financial disclosure - no doubt there. His dependents are adult relatives! He claims The divorce being my fault (adultery) - he has been adulterous too and violent for most of the marriage.

Would you be able to suggest a figure to go by considering all the info I’ve given. This is to help me in my confidence to tackle my intimidating ex. I actually felt like giving up at one stage and had agreed to leave with nothing until mediator highlighted this was not fair.

Thank you
Re: Financial Agreement issues
May 08, 2021 07:18PM
1. Who was 'at fault' is totally irrelevant to the financial outcome. It really has nothing to do with it.

2. The children are very young and there is a huge differential in your respective earning capacity. Apart from child maintenance there should at the very least be nominal spousal periodical payments for as long as the children are dependent. That is to cover the position where while they were growing up you lost your job or whatever. Given the earnings differential and the ages of the children I would actually say this is a case for substantive spousal periodical payments because it is unreasonable that your respective households should have wildly different standards of living.

No, you should not give up. It seems to me your ex is controlling and bullying. The fact is that the needs of the children come first so whether he likes it or not his proposal is unreasonable. Actually he is the one being greedy.
Re: Financial Agreement issues
May 08, 2021 09:13PM
Thank you so much. I value your advice, much appreciated. I will not give up, you’ve given me hope...
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