Ex delaying proceedings and I'm losing the will

I've been trying to divorce my wife after she committed adultery for almost 3 years now, and she is unreasonably dragging the process out by ignoring letters and emails, and has not been truthful in court. The decree nisi was done in a matter of months, but now she's realised she'll have to start paying her own way in life. She has now refused to sign a consent order that was previously agreed, and is determined to drag it through the courts (this would be the final court hearing) to add further delay. We have 2 kids - both 15 years old - that we have an almost even 'custody' of. My ex has been in a relationship for 3 years with this other guy, and he owns a property, and supports her financially.

I can't bear to be anywhere near my ex, so I stay with friends, she pretty much has the run of the FMH whilst she pays nothing towards it, but I fear the court will not care about this and will simply giver her what she wants - 80% of the house! The house is the only asset we have.

I have some questions:
1. Will the judge take the side of the mother and grant her 80% of the property she's never contributed to?
2. Can I put in a claim for the £1750 of monthly joint bills I have been paying throughout the process, rather than pull the plug and leave the kids homeless?
3. Will her new partner's finances come into play as I can prove a financial link between them.
4. Whilst I have been avoiding a new relationship till this mess was sorted, I have recently met someone, it's still early days, will their finances come into play in the proceedings?

I'm at my wit's end after 3 very difficult years trying to to resolve a situation that my ex caused, your feedback would be very much appreciated.

First let me say that it is impossible to answer questions like, 'Will my wife get 80% of the house?' without figures. It is not percentages that matter it is figures. And by figures I mean the whole financial context - incomes, capital, pensions etc. It is not about looking at some asset in isolation or considering a percentage without figures. The figures are everything in divorce. That is why each case is different. The figures for any given marriage are hardly ever identical.

IF your wife is being supported by her new partner then that would be relevant but if you are not in a position to prove that and it is simply what you think then that is a different matter.

In general it is not a good idea to cohabit with another partner until the financial issues arising from the marriage have been formally and finally resolved because that will bring into play the financial circumstances of the new partner. If the new partner doesn't have a bean and has six children then there would probably be nothing to take into account apart from liabilities but people do usually learn from divorce.

Hi David,

Thanks very much for your response. The financial details:

* £200k equity in joint property (ex hasn't contributed to the mortgage)
* No pension, no other assets
* My income is £30k, her income (including benefits) is £20k, but that's working part time hours by choice. Working full-time, her wage would be £25k inc benefits.

Financial link between ex and her boyfriend - he's paying some of her debts monthly - does this count, and would this mean he would have to provide 3 year disclosure? They have been together 3 years.

My new partner - it's early days, they have no kids and no assets (renting). Does the fact it's a same sex partner make any difference to the process?

Bearing in mind that there are two dependent children I think you attach too much weight to the fact that your ex has not contributed to the mortgage. She has borne you two children and, presumably, raised them for 15 years. Contributions to a marriage are not measured in purely financial terms.

It does not sound as though there is sufficient equity for the property to be sold in order to provide alternative accommodation for both of you. Your ex earns less than you and the property is needed as a home for dependent children. I suspect your ex may well end up with a greater share of the equity than you (although you are probably looking at something like 60/40 rather than 80/20).

She does not live with her new partner. If he pays some of her debts that would not in itself entitle you to know the details of his financial circumstances. You are not married to him.

No, it doesn't matter if a new partner is of the same sex or not.