Roughly, what's a fair split?

Hi all.

I'm just looking for a few pointers here. I feel a bit out of my depth, and not sure what exactly I should be expecting a financial settlement to look like in a divorce.

So, we are currently in mediation, but aren't agreeing on the equity split of the marital home (which is going to be sold).

We've been married for nearly 20 years, two kids (boy and girl)

Both of us will need a 3 bed to accommodate the kids, though they'll be living with their mum for the majority of the time (there'll likely be some geographical distance that means midweek isn't possible). I'm happy to get a reasonable size 2 bed.

I thought a 50/50 split on sale of house proceeds would be a good idea.
Reason being, difference on earnings. My salary is about 58k, whilst hers is upwards of £160k
My pension has a CETV of about £115k, hers about £250k

I pay CSA for the two.

Would it be reasonable for a 50/50 split on equity if pensions are not going to be considered?

Thanks all.

Lenny.

There a few bits of information missing such as how much equity there is in the former matrimonial home and the ages of the children. Having said that, your wife earns £160K compared to your £58K and her pension is worth £250K compared to your £115K. On the face of it that should mean that the equity should be divided equally and that there should be a pension share in your favour to equalise the pensions. If these numbers were reversed that would certainly be what your wife would be seeking and possibly more.

Remember, also, that a mediator is only interested in trying to reach agreement which is not the same thing as reaching an outcome which is fair in the sense of what a court would likely to regard as fair. I say this because you seem to be taking it for granted that pensions should be left as they are. On these figures that looks plain wrong unless there are special factors such as both pensions having being built up in their entirety before you even met. That seems unlikely given the length of the marriage.

Before you commit yourself to any outcome at mediation you really should take your own independent legal advice so that if you are giving up a share of things to which you are entitled you will at least be doing it with your eyes open. I don't say that you should fight over every teaspoon. There is a lot to be said for trying to reach agreement but you should only attempt to do that when you have a clear idea of what you would be entitled to if you pressed the issue. That doesn't look to be the case at the moment.