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Awkward wife
Posted by pj7226
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Awkward wife February 23, 2020 11:56AM |
Registered: 4 years ago Posts: 1 |
Hello world.
I am hoping someone can relate to my situation and whilst I need legal advice which I have taken, sometimes there are knowledgeable people out there that might be able to reassure me or at least relate to my situation.
Ill keep it brief,
34, male, separated from wife in Feb 2019. Moved out of the marital home due to conflict. We have a 2.5 year old. I am living with elderly mother until the house sells and it has been up for sale since August 2019.
Wife is 29, we was married for 3 years, together for 10. Owned house for 3 years also. Buying house, getting married and having a baby all happened quite quick.
Wife is at the marital home, with 2.5 years old, she pays the bills such as gas and electric and I still pay half of mortgage, half of a joint car loan and also full whack CSA, so in my opinion I am very fair bearing in mind I don’t live there.
She works 3 days a week, I work full time. She earns about 19k for 3 days, gets CSA from me, universal credit so has an income of about £1800 a month
I earn around 39k
After we split a few months later she met someone else. She agreed to get divorced so I paid for divorce online and also for a consent order and she agreed in email that she would keep 60% of the house sale, all of the furniture and she was happy. She accepted that she probably wont be able to buy somewhere and would have to rent as we don’t have a lot of equity. She has a credit card with around 5k on, I have credit card with about 15k as I was the daft one that paid for most of wedding, furniture for new house and child stuff. We were very amicable about stuff and got on well still, despite her having the new boyfriend at the marital home.
She split with the new chap in December and has completely turned feral on me (cant think of a better word to describe it)
Briefly,
She wont communicate about the house sale, and says we will only talk when we get an offer
Because I have been trying to communicate about the house, she has then decided to change the locks and feels I am harassing her which is just ridiculous.
She states she will NOT rent, she will only buy (problem is, can she afford to on a part time wage, considering deposit etc)
She wont agree to a consent order anymore at this time
She went to see a solicitor about a mesher order but I think from what I can work out she was told it wont happen as she doesn’t need a 4 bedroom house for her and just 1 child, plus I also need stability.
She has been taking advice from the divorced girls on the street type scenario, taking no account that everyones situation is different.
She wont provide her solicitors details (not sure she even has one, just that she has been for advice)
You can see my issue.
I have tried to reason with her, explain to her that if we don’t talk or she refuses to sell the house, then its going to cost us money we don’t have. Ie, mediation, and If an agreement still cant be reached then the court to decide which to be honest could backfire and also they could force sale of the house for less. This will also cost her, not just me?
The divorce papers landed last week, not sure she has even sent them back. Obviously the consent order will have to just hold for a while.
I was also worried about what she was doing in the background, but various solicitors have said she is responsible for her personal debt, and if she rocks up credit cards in her name its not my problem.
I guess the question is
Anyone else have this problem? Is this normal? Seriously what can I do? I want to take a step back but I just worry it will never sort itself, I just don’t see an end. Its like, why can she just not see the common sense and lets sell and move on. Maybe im rushing sometime that unfortunately takes time. I am even conscious what she might feel crap about receiving divorce papers but not sure what else to do.
I am hoping someone can relate to my situation and whilst I need legal advice which I have taken, sometimes there are knowledgeable people out there that might be able to reassure me or at least relate to my situation.
Ill keep it brief,
34, male, separated from wife in Feb 2019. Moved out of the marital home due to conflict. We have a 2.5 year old. I am living with elderly mother until the house sells and it has been up for sale since August 2019.
Wife is 29, we was married for 3 years, together for 10. Owned house for 3 years also. Buying house, getting married and having a baby all happened quite quick.
Wife is at the marital home, with 2.5 years old, she pays the bills such as gas and electric and I still pay half of mortgage, half of a joint car loan and also full whack CSA, so in my opinion I am very fair bearing in mind I don’t live there.
She works 3 days a week, I work full time. She earns about 19k for 3 days, gets CSA from me, universal credit so has an income of about £1800 a month
I earn around 39k
After we split a few months later she met someone else. She agreed to get divorced so I paid for divorce online and also for a consent order and she agreed in email that she would keep 60% of the house sale, all of the furniture and she was happy. She accepted that she probably wont be able to buy somewhere and would have to rent as we don’t have a lot of equity. She has a credit card with around 5k on, I have credit card with about 15k as I was the daft one that paid for most of wedding, furniture for new house and child stuff. We were very amicable about stuff and got on well still, despite her having the new boyfriend at the marital home.
She split with the new chap in December and has completely turned feral on me (cant think of a better word to describe it)
Briefly,
She wont communicate about the house sale, and says we will only talk when we get an offer
Because I have been trying to communicate about the house, she has then decided to change the locks and feels I am harassing her which is just ridiculous.
She states she will NOT rent, she will only buy (problem is, can she afford to on a part time wage, considering deposit etc)
She wont agree to a consent order anymore at this time
She went to see a solicitor about a mesher order but I think from what I can work out she was told it wont happen as she doesn’t need a 4 bedroom house for her and just 1 child, plus I also need stability.
She has been taking advice from the divorced girls on the street type scenario, taking no account that everyones situation is different.
She wont provide her solicitors details (not sure she even has one, just that she has been for advice)
You can see my issue.
I have tried to reason with her, explain to her that if we don’t talk or she refuses to sell the house, then its going to cost us money we don’t have. Ie, mediation, and If an agreement still cant be reached then the court to decide which to be honest could backfire and also they could force sale of the house for less. This will also cost her, not just me?
The divorce papers landed last week, not sure she has even sent them back. Obviously the consent order will have to just hold for a while.
I was also worried about what she was doing in the background, but various solicitors have said she is responsible for her personal debt, and if she rocks up credit cards in her name its not my problem.
I guess the question is
Anyone else have this problem? Is this normal? Seriously what can I do? I want to take a step back but I just worry it will never sort itself, I just don’t see an end. Its like, why can she just not see the common sense and lets sell and move on. Maybe im rushing sometime that unfortunately takes time. I am even conscious what she might feel crap about receiving divorce papers but not sure what else to do.
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Re: Awkward wife February 23, 2020 05:08PM |
Admin Registered: 5 years ago Posts: 1,348 |
Your wife is living in the former matrimonial home and you pay half the mortgage and child support. Why should she be in any hurry to change that? It seems to me that the person with the incentive to get this resolved is you rather than her and so you need to make sure you take the steps to make that happen.
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