My wife of 22 years is seeking on-going maintenance on the basis of ill health + the house (not mortgage free) + my pension + my savings AND seems to want to keep her own NHS pension. I am by far the higher wage earner. We have NO children and have been separated 5 years. I have continued to contribute to the mortgage and bills as well as my paying my own rental accommodation (>£70k in 5 yrs). Her spend from the joint account is hugely disproportionate e.g. she’s draining the account for personal things. I am unable to do anything about this or the mortgage will go into arrears. I’m trapped.
Key to this – she is NOT ill but has slowly been building a case once divorce was on the horizon, shortly after our separation. The separation coincided with her mother’s death unfortunately and she is not emotionally well, refusing to work for various ‘health related’ issues. As an gov’t/NHS worker she’s had no trouble getting time off (impossible to be fired and seemingly no repercussions such has been my observation over many years…).
In the midst of all this, she had a cancer scare – fortunately not serious but a minor operation. Still, she is weighing on this heavily to thread a narrative of ill health and inability to work. ANYONE who knows her will tell you in certainty there is nothing wrong and she is coyly playing a game to suit her interests at all costs – to never have to work and take advantage of the fact that I am a higher wage earner.
My intentions from day one I feel have been fair – I would like to offset our pensions and savings against one another (for the most part equal) and divide the equity of the property where most of the money is. A 60/40 or 70/30 split would enable her to put a strong down payment on a new property with a small mortgage. I will have a small deposit to get back on the ladder despite being heavily in debt again and our respective savings/pensions stay in tact. There is more to it than this but ultimately am resigned to a disproportionate split as I do earn more money and feel she does need more for the mortgage BUT she will have to work as we all do. The trouble is she her starting point is essentially wanting 100% of everything – hers and mine..
She is bitter, vindictive and in my opinion seeking an ongoing maintenance to maintain a connection that she can use to make life unbearable for me. Will a court or legal panel cut through the BS here or buy into such an elaborately conceived narrative of a person in ill health in distress (it’s laughable to people that know her, but clearly others in this situation will not.)
Any advice on the chances of not achieving a non-clean break and her claiming maintenance for life?