False Accusations & Social Services Referral

Hi,

I desperately need some help as I am not sure how to deal with my situation:

• My wife via her solicitor has accused me of aggressive behaviour to her in front of the kids
• She has now escalated this under false pretences by asking for a social services referral via her GP and her solicitor has warned that they may consider a child protection order.
• My wife is isolating me from my kids aged 8 and 11. She takes them out without advising me at any time for any duration, however she will not allow me to do the same.
• She manipulates events for her benefits and tries to cause arguments in front of the kids.
• I fear she is brainwashing them.
• She has waged a consistent campaign leading up to this and I expect her end goal is to be able to call the police and have me removed from the house.

She is set in punishing me for choosing to want a divorce after years of verbal and emotional abuse.

Yesterday she took the kids at some point in the afternoon whilst I was working and has not returned today. I am scared to text or phone her as I do not know what she will do next or how she would construe things.

I am now expecting to speak to Social Services at some point - which I would be pleased to, however I am worried as to what my kids will say given my wife’s influence.

I really do not know what to do and feel absolutely powerless in this situation – all her allegations are false.

I have decided not to engage with her at all via text or in person as I am worried how she will manipulate events.

I would appreciate some advice please.

Thanks.

>>I have decided not to engage with her at all via text or in person

Since you have initiated a divorce limiting your interactions with your wife except in the presence of a third party is probably sensible. False accusations are much more common than people realise. Your wife cannot have you removed from the house unless she can prove you have used or threatened violence towards her or the children. Your wife almost certainly knows this so there is a risk that she will call the police and allege that you have used or threatened violence towards her or the children. The situation you have described suggests that is a real risk in this case so you must be very alert to it in order to protect yourself against such allegations.

The police are often as much use as a chocolate teapot in these circumstances often accepting such allegations at face value and suggesting the husband leaves. (I have never encountered a case where it is the wife they suggest leave). You should make sure that your denials of these allegations are properly recorded and if at all possible you should minimise situations where your wife could make allegations against you where there are no witnesses.

There are also, unfortunately, cases where one parent tries to turn children against the other. It would probably be sensible to press ahead with the divorce as quickly as you reasonably can and also to take steps to get the financial issues arising from the marriage settled formally once for all. The shorter the current situation lasts the better. Sometimes relations improve after a divorce and everything has been settled (although not usually immediately).

Many thanks for your prompt response David. The sooner this comes to a conclusion the better.