New here. No idea where to start

Hi there,

I am currently considering a separation/divorce. I've basically no idea where to start with proceedings and what I might be entitled to.

Me - 45
Him - 47
Kids - 2, ages 13 and 18
Married 23 years
Mortgage - 205k
Equity - 50k
Me savings- 25k
Him - 25k
Me earnings - 18k
Him earnings - £60k
Me current pension value - £5k
Him current pension value - 25k

I actually just don't know how I would afford to live if we separated. Any help really appreciated!

On these figures the only outcome that seems practical is that:-

1. The former matrimonial home is transferred into you sole name.
2. Your husband gets a charge on it for a percentage of its value.
3. You stay in the former matrimonial home with the children and you pay the mortgage from your own income and what your (ex) husband will pay you in terms of spousal and child maintenance. He will need to pay sufficient to enable you to afford this.
4. He gets to realise his percentage charge when the children cease to be dependent (or if you should happen to die in the meanwhile).

I am not quite sure about the pensions because it seems unlikely that the pensions are valued at £5K and £25K after a marriage of this length. It may be that you actually mean they would pay out an income of these amounts. That would be a wholly different kettle of fish.

The outcome does not have to be as above. You and your husband could agree whatever you were both happy with so long as it was broadly reasonable. Having said that, on these figures it is hard to see what other outcome would properly address your needs and those of the children.

Thank you so much for your reply.
When you say to transfer the mortgage into my sole name, would that be possible given that I wouldn’t get a mortgage for that amount? Sorry if it’s a stupid question but I have no idea about these kind of things.

Thanks again

I did not say transfer the mortgage into your name. I said the property would be transferred into your sole name. You would undertake to use your best endeavours to get the mortgage transferred into your sole name but bearing in mind the size of the mortgage and your income it is very unlikely you would be able to do that. If the home was transferred into your sole name (and on the basis that your (ex) husband would be paying you child maintenance and spousal maintenance to enable you to meet your outgoings) then you would give your husband an indemnity against all liability for the mortgage payments. That is probably the best that could be done under these circumstances but it is very common where there is really no other practical alternative.

Thank you. I appreciate you taking time to explain that to me.