The petitioner is divorcing you, not marrying you. There is no obligation to discuss the contents of a divorce petition with you. Still less do you have any right of veto over the contents.
Obviously the more you can do by agreement the better but that tends to be about sorting out the financial issues arising from the marriage rather than mediating about whether there should be a divorce or not or what should or should not go into a divorce petition. Do remember that sometimes a divorce happens because one spouse can no longer put up with the controlling behaviour of the other. In a case like that it would be more than a little odd, not to say unwise, to allow the controlling spouse to decide whether there should be a divorce or not and/or upon what terms.
What can save time, money and stress is reaching agreement on the financial issues arising from a marriage. Often mediation can help with that if no direct dialogue is possible. But that is a separate issue from the divorce. A divorce is the part which ends the marriage and the fact is that if one spouse has decided there is no future to the marriage there is nothing the other can do about it.